Sunday, October 19, 2008

party foul

Top ten most awkward things you can do at a bar.

10. yawn
9. sneeze
8. tie your shoes on the dance floor
7. dance with a cigarette, stop trying to kill yourself and everyone around you. my hoody is a polyester blend and i care about it deeply. keep your cancer stick to yourself.
6. stealing someone's drink off a table while the owner of said drink is dancing. this one is for you kettle-one-lemon-drop-stealing-d-bag.
5. hitting on the bartender and thinking he is actually into you. he's not. he's trying to pay the bills.
4. trying to dance with someone when they are clearly dancing/making out with someone else.
3. dressing like a total whore when the bar is just a chill hang out spot, wait scrap that dressing like a total whore whenever, never cool. ps its cold out, invest in a jacket.
2. not washing your hands after leaving the bathroom. this is a gay bar, there aren't any doors. i just saw you and removed your name from my dance card.
1. be old.